Criminal - Various Artists

A lot of people ask me stupid f**kin' questions

A lot of people think that what i say on records

Or what i talk about on a record that i actually do in real life

Or that i believe in it

Or if i say that i wanna kill somebody that

I'm actually gonna do it or that i believe in it

Well sh*t if you believe that then i'll kill you

You know why

'Coz i'm a

Criminal

Criminal

You goddamn right

I'm a criminal

Yeah i'm a criminal

My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge

That'll stab you in the head whether you're a fag or lez

Or the homosex hermaph or a trans-a-vest

Pants or dress hate fags the answer's yes

Homophobic nah you're just heterophobic

Starin at my jeans watchin' my genitals bulgin'

That's my motherf**kin' balls you'd better let go of 'em

They belong in my scrotum you'll never get hold of 'em

Hey it's me versace whoops somebody shot me

And i was just checkin' the mail get it checkin' the 'male'

How many records you expectin' to sell

After your second lp sends you directly to jail

C'mon relax guy i like gay men

Right ken give me an amen

Amen

Please lord this boy needs jesus

Heal this child help us destroy these demons

Oh and please send me a brand new car

And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital

Preacher preacher fifth grade teacher

You can't reach me my mom can't neither

You can't teach me a goddamn thing ause

I watch tv and comcast cable

And you ain't able to stop these thoughts

You can't stop me from toppin' these charts

And you can't stop me from droppin' each march

With a brand new cd for these f**kin' retards

Duh and to think it's just little ol' me

Mr don't give a f**k still won't leave

I'm a criminal

'Coz every time i write a rhyme these people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind i guess i'm a criminal

But i don't gotta say a word i just flip 'em the bird

And keep goin' i don't take sh*t from no one

I'm a criminal

'Coz every time i write a rhyme these people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind i guess i'm a criminal

But i don't gotta say a word i just flip 'em the bird

And keep goin' i don't take sh*t from no one

My mother did drugs tar liquor cigarettes and speed

The baby came out disfigured ligaments indeed

It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she

Don't dare make fun of that baby 'cause that baby was me

I'm a criminal an animal caged who turned crazed

But how the f**k you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised

So as i got older and i got a lot taller

My dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger

I drink malt liquor to f**k you up quicker

Than you'd wanna f**k me up for sayin' the word

My morals went when the president got oral sex

In his oval office on top of his desk off of his own employee

Now don't ignore me you won't avoid me

You can't miss me i'm white blonde-haired and my nose is pointy

I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die

In plane crashes and laughs as long as it ain't happened to him

Slim shady i'm as crazy as

Eminem and kim combined the maniac's in

Replacin' the doctor 'cause dre couldn't make it today

He's a little under the weather so i'm takin' his place

Oh that's dre with an ak to his face

Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place

I told you dre you should've kept that thang put away

I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it eh

I'm a criminal

Aight look just go up in that motherf**ker

Get the motherf**kin' money and get the f**k up outta there

Aight

I'll be right here waitin' on you

Aight

Yo em

What

Don't kill nobody this time

Awright

Hi how can i help you

Yeah i need to make a withdrawl

Put the f**kin' money in the bag b**ch and i won't kill you

What oh my god don't kill me

I'm not gonna kill you b**ch quit lookin' around

I said i'm not gonna f**kin' kill you

Hurry the f**k up

Thank you

Windows tinted on my ride when i drive in it

So when i rob a bank run out and just dive in it

So i'll be disguised in it and if anybody identifies the guy in it

I'll hide for five minutes

Come back shoot the eyewitness

Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business

Die b**ches bastards brats pets

This puppy's lucky i didn't blast his a** yet

If i ever gave a f**k i'd shave my nuts

Tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck

You motherf**kin' chickens ain't brave enough

To say the stuff i say so just tape it shut

Sh*t half the sh*t i say i just make it up

To make you mad so kiss my white naked a**

And if it's not a rapper that i make it as

I'ma be a f**kin' rapist in a jason mask

I'm a criminal

'Coz every time i write a rhyme these people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind i guess i'm a criminal

But i don't gotta say a word i just flip 'em the bird

And keep goin' i don't take sh*t from no one

Criminal

'Coz every time i write a rhyme these people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind i guess i'm a criminal

But i don't gotta say a word i just flip 'em the bird

And keep goin' i don't take sh*t from no one

Criminal

'Coz every time i write a rhyme these people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind i guess i'm a criminal

But i don't gotta say a word i just flip 'em the bird

And keep goin'